Keith Abrahams – Stress Management Consultant

We are all individuals. These case studies are indicative of the kinds of issues that may arise. In all cases, the response is client tailored.

Profile

Career challenges are many and varied. In this example, the client is feeling very stuck and unable to move forward. This is overwhelmingly  frustrating for them because they have high expectations and not being able to reach them is causing stress.

Despite having work based coaching and personally funded counselling, the client has been unable to  resolve the tension between themselves, their peers and their bosses, before seeing me.

My initial response

This client was a strong character and so it was important to gather an understanding of their frustrations and to describe the key ‘Stressors’ in their life. Clients often find this challenging and so it was achieved through the Stress Test (see side bar).

From this process it became possible to understand the short term responses that the client was adopting. They were working harder and longer hours; were being demanding on their staff and colleagues; and complained that they were spending a lot of time explaining themselves to others. This was the wisdom that brought understanding to the clients situation.

Once we had practiced calming exercises, the client was able to explain and highlight more succinctly and with more responsibility (which is healthily different to blame) what was happening for them. This led in to a focus on their clear goals and priorities, which further calmed them.

Follow up

In order to shape those goals more holistically, we then undertook an Emotional Needs Audit (see side bar). This further helped to uncover, not just what the client needed to address to be emotionally and mentally healthy, but it also uncovered the clients gifts, strengths and talents, all collective termed their ‘Resources’. We all need good methods to be healthy.

This strengths based approach enabled us to co-operate and realise that the client had not be taking into account the response of his colleagues to his stress. They realised that they had failed to mutually co-operate with them and had failed to communicate their purpose and objectives in a way that made good sense to their work colleagues. This caused conflict.

We then described the better and more useful ways to approach their life, especial work. Together we rehearsed and practiced better responses, which I was then able to support them in delivering or implementing the new ways.

Outcome

Once we stepped back and surveyed the results it became apparent that not only had the client become more calm and suitably focused, but that their colleagues were now responding to them in a more mutually supportive and beneficial way.

This was a contributing factor to them being chosen to move on to an accelerated leadership program.

Note: This case study demonstrates RIGAARIS (see side bar) in action.

We are all individuals. These case studies are indicative of the kinds of issues that may arise. In all cases, the response is client tailored.

Struggling Parent

This client came to  see me concerned and stressed about how unmanageable their lives had become because of financial worries. Although they earnt a reasonable salary, there was always more month left at the end of their pay.

Even through they had taken other financial management advice and support, they still could not manage.

My initial response

In this case the client needed a good listening to. They were intellignet, eloquent and clear on their responsiblites, therefore, we talked through the Stress Test (see side bar) and completed it together. This provided us the opportunity to explore what was important to them.

It became apparent that the core ‘Stressor’ was the wish to have the latest technology and ensure that the family always had the latest best quality branded clothes and the like.

The short term responses were to spend more time at the pub, drinking to much and buying rounds of drinks for their friends. The benefit was that this distracted them from their stress, temporarily.

The ‘Impacts’ were that drinking was both expensive and made the financial position worse, but the drink side effects also that it meant their work performance and quality of relationships became fraught.

Follow Up

The clients pattern(s) of behaviour had become so ingrained that the first session focused on the core beliefs that kept the behaviour in place. As we stated to discuss them and share insights, the client was able to uncover the contradictions between their values and actions.

This enabled us to then turn attention to the Emotional Needs Audit (see side bar) and identify the core areas that needed to be followed up. As this client was a very logical processor, we invested time of ensuring that their goals and priorities were concretely agreed (see side bar RIGAARIS).

We worked together on ‘psychoeducation’, which is that although in this case the client did not need to draw down on my financial expertise, they did need to learn more about how their patterns of feeing, thinking and acting were individually and personally developed for them.

Outcomes

The client became calmer, more accepting of their current constraints and the need to be measured.  They then directed their efforts and energies towards their family and bundling a career, which developed into a successful business of their own, which continues to meet both their own and their family’s needs.

We are all individuals. These case studies are indicative of the kinds of issues that may arise. In all cases, the response is client tailored.

Profile

This client was ordinarily a calm and competent operator, successful both in their home, personal and work life. However, they had now had news about their health which was going to have a very profound impact on their life. They would need to have serious medical issues and may need to change their life going forward.

They were referred to me by a previous client who felt that I could help them make the transition, not just through the invasive medical procedures, but also during their recovery and then after into their new life.

My response

Clients all have different needs and the process is always tailored. In this case, there was less need to conduct a Stress Test, as the elements of concern were very apparent. Instead we invested our time in exploring the values and beliefs that the client had around her health and the forthcoming process.

Although the client was not religious and did not have any particular spiritual practices, I was able to explain that a pragmatic approach to spirituality, is to focus on making good sense of the life, have a clear purpose and to work in co-operation with those around us.

In that respect, we worked to develop a plan and set of tools that would help them be calm, stay focused and ensure that they took as much command of their situation as they could.

Follow up

What slowly became apparent was that the client had suffered a number of traumatic events in her life (see). As can sometimes happen, these trauma’s became ‘re-lived’ as a result of the new trauma that arose.

We discussed that right approach and agreed that I would refer the client for trauma resolution. In this case the organisation who assessed the client felt co in referring the client back to me for that work. Sometimes there are other referral organisations whom are equally well suited to helping the client.

The process of healing the trauma (relieving it rather than re-living it) included conducting the Emotional Needs Audit (see sidebar). This has become the process by which we can make sure that the client can suitably arrange and plan their future life.

Outcome

The client has comfortably moved through their medical challenge and the initial phase of recovery, and now we are working together to ensure that they adjust to their new life, get her needs met and remain as successful as she was originally.

We are all individuals. These case studies are indicative of the kinds of issues that may arise. In all cases, the response is client tailored.

Profile

A middle aged executive who found that there had been a recent change to the composition of the Board. This meant that several members of the Board they had grown up with, and been mentored by, had retired. New members had joined and this a source of conflict.

The client was very much respected, but was referred to me because they were struggling with the change in culture, by the new CEO of the organisation..

My initial response

The Stress Test (see side bar) was conducted and it was clear that the client was a little resistant (which they later acknowledged) and could not acknowledge that any of the stressors they were currently experiencing where their responsibility (part of my client psychoeducation is to show the difference between ‘blame’ and ‘responsibility’).

However, as we shared ideas and experience’s, the client  became more self-aware of their influence over the situation and slowly stated to make clearer links to how their current actions and behaviours (short term responses) may not have been helping the situation.

Eventually the client made clear statements on what their core values were, what they planned to achieve and how they would start to build relationships with their new team. Experienced executives often have the ability to both be single minded and then flexible, the art of therapeutic coaching becomes helping them chose when to use which.

Follow Up

This client was very experienced in coaching techniques and it made sense for us to focus on a pragmatic and straightforward exchange of ideas. In this instance, because these was a referral from the organisation, I was given permission to mediate between the board and the client.

Each organisation and individual has a set of needs and values, so we worked through an Emotional Need Audit (see side bar) and spotted where there were tensions and conflicts, which we mediated a plan through.

Outcomes

In this case, the client was able to resolve his position in the Board and moved on to be an ongoing active part of the organisation.

There has been other circumstances in which it is apparent that the executive no longer has a cultural or strategic fit with the board. This sometimes happens and is not a reflection on the skills abilities or experience of the executive, but simply a complex situation.

Sometimes it is time to move on or transit into something different, which is part of the work that I do with experienced executives.

We are all individuals. These case studies are indicative of the kinds of issues that may arise. In all cases, the response is client tailored.

Profile

This client came claiming the their Work-Life Balance was ‘out of sync’. They were feeling pressure from many sides and were struggling to meet the demands placed on them from their strained resources, which is a simple, straightforward explanation of what stress is.

What was very clear was that the client was very confused and feeling unable to make any decisions or focus their attention. They had already taken the free Stress Test (see side bar), but that they wanted to be successful, but did not know where to start.

My Initial Response

The advantage of being a therapeutic coach rather than being a counsellor, is that I can provide guidance and psychoeducation. In this case, the client was creating even more stress adopting an unhealthy definition of work-life balance, which is having an appropriate ‘division of one’s time and focus between working and family or leisure activities’.

However, what is normally at the root of the challenge is that the stressed person has failed to focus on their needs, and the interface of getting this needs met with in the context of their work and family. It often means that the goals and priorities have not been properly negotiated and communicated.

We started with an Emotional Needs Audit (see side bar) and being to see where conflicts and tension shad started to develop. This allowed the client to reconsider carefully the nature of the stressors and explain that to those around them more clearly.

Follow up

What became apparent was that this client did not really understand why they had struggled. In this instance, I explored the following:

1.  What knowledge did the client need to have or skills they needed to develop to understand and explain their challenges. In this case it was to deepen their understanding of their emotional needs.
2.  When then looked at the works and family environment and identified key areas that needed to be addressed, but what was apparent was that the client had suffered ….
3.  A trauma two years previously that had been unaddressed. Using a quick and simple, gentle and effective Trauma Response we able to calm and to reset their focus and calm demenaour.

Outcomes

The client simple found that they were able to re-engage their natural gifts, strengths and talents, being their resources, so that they were (as it was described), back to their ‘old self’.

In progress